4 posts from February 2009

You have four unexpected guests showing up for dinner in less than an hour, you haven't been to the store in days, and you want to impress them with a delicious meal. What do you serve them?

A bunch of Double-Doubles from In-N-Out which is just a stone's throw away from my house!

Eyeball! 

Hey, this looks like the series premiere of Lost as the aforementioned eyeball belongs to none other than Jack.  And, Jack is lying in the middle of the jungle just as he was when the plane first crashed.  This time, however, he’s clutching a torn piece of paper that says “I wish…”  So do I, paper, so do I.  Admittedly, I didn’t see the series premiere when it first aired BUT I do have all the DVDs so I’ve more than made up for it, but for a moment, I seriously thought they were going to recycle this scene from that first episode.  Talk about cutting corners.  But, this wasn’t the case as while Jack was checking out his surroundings, he hears someone calling for help.  That someone is Hurley.  And, he’s in the lake using his guitar case as a floatation device.  [Insert own joke here.]  As Jack takes a high dive off a cliff and “saves” Hurley in what turned out to be knee-deep water (heh), they see a passed-out Khate on a rock.  Because I know how much this show hates me, Khate was not dead, much, much to my chagrin.  In fact, she didn’t have a scratch on her.  Wow, Craphole Island really does heal all wounds.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, the gang prepares to meet Mrs. Hawking.  As they gather in the parking lot, Benry, Jack and Sun are surprised to see Desmond walk from behind the shadows to join them.  Hey, is this where the reunion is?  Cool.  Oddly, they’re all there to see Ellie and all her weirdness.  Ah, we see where Daniel gets it from.  After lighting a few candles in her church/lecture hall/lab, she takes the troops downstairs into an unknown abyss…or what’s just a glorified basement.  With a Foucault’s Pendulum swinging in the middle of the room.  Every brilliant, mad scientist’s wet dream, right?  Sun, Jack and Desmond exchange strange glances as Eloise introduces the room/station/floor/scene as The Lamp Post.  Eloise continues to explain how they need to get back to the island and bring as much of the 06 with them as possible.  Desmond, however, won’t hear of it.  He thinks she’s crazy and asserts that he’s done with the island as far as he’s concerned.  Meanwhile, I’m on the edge of my seat for fear that my pretty, pretty Desmond is going to get clocked by the giant swinging pendulum he somehow manages to avoid!  Whew.

Back in the sanctuary, Ben again manages to avoid getting struck by lightning and looks like he’s actually praying.  And lighting candles!  Jealous that Jack has become teacher Eloise’s pet and kept him after class to explain the contents of a binder she handed him, Benry tries to drive the point home that he needs to get the 06 back to the island to help the others.  Well, not necessarily the Others others, but the others others.  Although the Others others might also be in danger considering we hadn’t seen flight attendant Cindy & the kids in eons.  Ah, who knows!

In a really weird, out-of-context scene, Jack gets called to a retirement home to retrieve some mysterious person and prevent him from running away.  After calling this said person by his first name (Ray), he suddenly switches to calling him by his real name, “Gramps/Grandpappy/Grampy” or whatever the Shephard men call their paternal grandfather when not addressing him by his first name.  Conveniently, the Senior Shephard has a pair of shoes that once belonged to Christian.  Verrrrry interesting.  And how convenient that it’s exactly what Jack needed to fulfill his “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” to include in Locke’s casket prior to the funeral.  Except he needed something of Christian’s. 

Jack goes home and proceeds to look for the booze.  Hell, I’d have stopped off at the Quik-E-Mart and picked up a few just to be sure.  Anyway, he sensed something creepy and weird in his house and conveniently finds Khate all weird and glassy-eyed sprawled out on his bed. Where’s Aaron?  Who cares?!  And if he asks her about that again, Khate is never evah gonna speak to him again.  Think about it, Jack!  But no.  Boom chick-a-bow-bow.  Excuse me while I barf.

The next morning, a beaten and bloodied Benry calls Jack and asks him to do a favor and get John out of the deep freeze and bring him to the airport.  Because Jack is such a great friend and good sport, he obliges.  Khate, on the other hand, can’t wait to get out of his house and pretend she doesn’t know him.  That’s gratitude for ya.  Stupid Khate.  Even more stupider Jack.

And, in some frustratingly inexplicable plot twist, Sun, Khate, Hurley (huh?), Sayid (+ personal marshall), Benry and Jack all happen to be at the airport, boarding the same flight, going to the same destination, all for the same reason.  But because this show continues to frustrate, we don’t know why/how they all got there, especially Hurley (just be glad he’s there) and Sayid….except I think somehow the marshall attached to his wrist has something to do with it.  But do we get an explanation?  Hell no, that would be too logical and actually make sense.  And that’s not what this show is all about.  Geez! 

Also on board is some mysterious guy who people are speculating is a plant of Widmore’s or some other ne’er-do-well, a beaten Benry who finds time to casually read Ulysses, and our very own cleanly shaved and scrubbed Frank Lapidus! as the pilot.  Of course, Jack demands a meeting with the pilot and once Frank gets a glimpse of his passengers, he cleverly surmised that they weren’t really going to go to Guam, were they?  Heh, I missed Frank and glad he’s back.  Also, Jack finally reads the goodbye letter Locke had written him.  Oh Jack, why must you be such a big drama queen?

Turbulence.  Flash.  Boom – eyeball.  And, we’re back to the opening scene.  Ah, now it makes sense.  That wasn’t the first time the Losties crashed…it was the second.  Oy!  And the partial note Jack was clutching was John’s letter saying he wished Jack had believed him.  Poor Locke, of all the things to have Jack do.  You should have known better.  For some other inexplicable reason (GRRR!!), we don’t see any of the other passengers…not right now, anyway.  Jack, Khate and Hurley look up to the sound of a roaring engine.  No, it’s not Smokey.  It’s a brand, spanking new Dharma slug bug van!  In it is a worker in a brown Dharma uniform toting a rifle.  As it is carefully aimed at the ReLosties, their faces turn to surprise…the gun toter is none other than our very own Jin.  And Jin is rockin’ that ‘70’s perm Mike and Greg Brady did back in the day.  Coinky dink?  I think not.  Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until next time to find out what happens next.  Same bat-time.  Same bat-channel.

Last week on the Sopranos, Sun was threatening to introduce Benry to her “little friend” for killing her husband back on Craphole Island.  Benry, being the smooth-talker that he is convinces Sun that Jin is in fact alive and he can prove it.  She says he’d better or be rudely introduced to the bullet in her gun.  Ben takes Sun and Jack on a road trip to somewhere they need to go in order for Ben to prove that Jin’s alive.  Alrighty then.

Meanwhile, back on Craphole Island, a very much alive Jin and early (pre-death) Rousseau & team are hiking through the jungle looking for the radio tower.  Suddenly, Jin hears an ominous sound he hadn’t heard in at least a few weeks, or whenever the last time Smokey made a guest appearance.  Sure enough, the rest of the Frenchies hear it too and look to Jin for some answers.  Interesting to know what words one learns in a new environment.  Jin sure knew the word “monster” in English!  And, it’s a good thing the French crew also knew what it meant, because not only is Smoky up and about, he already took out his aggressions on poor Nadine-with-the-cantine and was out for more blood.  Taking a cue from Jin, the crew starts running through the forest.  At one point, Montand (you know, there’s always this guy in any given group) gets belligerent and turns to Smokey.  Bad idea as Smokey proceeds to grab him and pull him down his black hole lair.  Not, however, without the team gallantly trying to save him via human chain.  Unfortunately, Smokey wins and one-armed Montand is down the hole casually asking his group to save him because he’s “hurt” – which, by the way, I vote for understatement of the year.

On another part of Craphole, Sawyer, et al are trekking through the woods and the nosebleed of death befalls Charlotte again.  As she slips in and out of consciousness, she mumbles stuff about her past and how some creepy guy told her not to go back to the island.  That creepy guy?  The one who, just last episode, professed his undying love and devotion to her.  Daniel.  Oh Daniel, you’re turning out to be just as timeless, though not as pretty, as Richard.  Focused on getting to the Orchid, Locke pushes to get the group going but since Daniel doesn’t want to leave Charlotte behind, he says with her until she croaks.  Yea.  Too bad.  In a last redeeming move, Charlotte did tell the gang that if they have difficulty locating the Orchid, to look for a well.  Interrrrrresting.

As the Losties approach the location of the Orchid, a flash appears and they get transported to a time apparently before the Orchid was built.  Aw, bummer.  However, the infamous well was there and Locke was going to make his descent.  In a decent gesture, Juliet thanks Locke for his sacrifice.  I still don’t trust Juliette, but I don’t hate her as much as I did when she was first introduced.  Unfortunately as John was descending via rope, another flash appears and, viola, the well disappears and Sawyer is tugging on one end of a thoroughly buried rope.  Sorry, Sawyer, John cannot hear you yelling and screaming for him (I can offer you comfort, however).  But I digress.

During the last flash, John falls to the bottom of the well and proceeds to break a bone in his shin.  Ouch!  Thanks for the visual, guys.  We really didn’t need to see it as Terry O’Quinn is such a great actor, I would have believed it if he just said, “ow, I broke my leg.”  Of course, who would he be telling since he’s alone…or is he?  Lurking in the shadows is a figure we didn’t expect to see – Christian Shephard.  Dun dun DUN!  Before John departs via the Frozen Donkey Wheel, Christian tells him a couple of interesting things.  First, that Mrs. Hawking is the key to getting people back on the island and second, to give his regards to his son. Before John could ask any questions, he’s outta there.

As much as I love this show, this episode seemed to have dragged until the end.  There has been some discussion over what is meant by "The Little Prince"  --- is it referring to Turniphead Aaron, a parallel between the character in the book and the island or something else?  The world may never know.  But the theories abound and are all quite interesting.

Much like last week, we get a terrific reveal (or two!) at the end and unlike some viewers, I like to remain unspoiled so that the reveals are that much more exciting.  As if I needed more excitement as far as this show is concerned.  I jumped around like a loon for 30 minutes after this episode aired!  But I digress.

Unfortunately, we get a lot of story with Jack and Khate.  This is why it probably seemed to drag on for me.  We pick up on the Khate and Sun visit where Khate decides to leave Turniphead with Sun while she goes snooping around the attorney who served her with papers to see who his client is.  Because Khate is so "bad ass" and such a "rebel" she does not do things by the book.  Except, she's highly lame so she comes off just looking like the big stoopid doofus that she is.  She got nowhere trying to get anything out of the attorney by batting her false eyelashes at him so she decided to follow him to his next appointment hoping it's "the client."  Since she has nothing better to do with her day, she trails him to a hotel where lo-and-behold, he visits none other than Claire's mother.  Aha!  She must be the nefarious client who wants to "steal" Aaron back from her by claiming she's a blood relative.  Silly woman, don'tcha know that Khate kidnapped Aaron fair and square so finders keepers?!  Someone desperately needs to put Khate out of her (and mine) misery.  I'll happily volunteer.

In the meantime, Sayid is attacked again at a hospital by some thug with Khate's address so conveniently in his pocket.  While everyone smells a set up, Jack being Jack falls for it and has to desperately help Khate from these awful, evil goons who carry around her address.  Jack goes spying with Khate because he's her lap dog and will do anything she says.  Even try to talk Claire's mother out of legally claiming Aaron.  Oooookay.  Except, she's not there for that, she's there to collect on some insurance money.  Just a coinkydink that she happens to be in town at the same time the DNA test was requested and has the same exact attorney as the person requesting the DNA test. Who woulda thunk? 

Meanwhile back on Craphole Island, Charlotte's nose is still bleeding from the last episode.  I hope she dies.  There, I said it.  She's been useless since she arrived and has done nothing but bitchface herself all over each scene.  If the island needs her, I say she should be sacrificed.  But, methinks that it'll be revealed sometime in the near future that she and Daniel or Widmore or Benry or Penny or Ellie or Vincent or someone will be related at some point in time.  Boooooring.  Soon, Myles starts getting a nosebleed and so does Juliet.  Pretty soon all the cool kids will have one!  Aww!  Daniel has all the answers, but heaven forbid he actually reveals one.  Instead, Locke thinks that the Zodiac will be the answer to all their time-travel problems.  Oy, the time travel thing.  Just thinking about it gives ME a nosebleed!

They find their way to the beach but don't see their old buds -- Bernard, Rose, Vincent...all are MIA. Boo!  They'd better be safe or the show will officially suck.  They don't find the Zodiac but they do find some canoe-type boats and decide to use one.  I haven't rowed a canoe since I was twelve at Disneyland but I remember it taking a lot of energy and I was exhausted by the end of the 5 minute paddle to the other side of the "island" (which, in reality was about 50 yards away back then).  So, where the malnourished Losties got the energy to paddle that thing, I'll never know.  Anyway, as they are booking it, suddenly it starts raining...and to make things more complex, someone starts shooting at them.  It's the other boat with unidentified individuals with guns aimed at their heads!  Good times!  Fortunately for the Losties, a flash of light saves them and they end up in another place and time.

They wash up on the shore and come across what looks like the cargo from another boatload of people.  Locke turns over a box with some foreign writing on it (some reference to The Little Prince!) and it's in French!  Hey!  Next shot is a raftload of people coming across a semi-conscious person floating on what looks like a piece of driftwood.  The folks on the rubber raft speak French...!  They pick up the person on the driftwood and turn him over -- IT'S JIN!!!  Yes!  Jin is alive like I kinew he (should) would be!  YESSSSSSS!  They all get back to shore and the young French speaking woman also speaks English and introduces herself as Danielle Rousseau!  YES, WE GET A DANIELLE FLASHBACK!!!!  Poor Jin, he's thinking, damn, I just learned English and now I have to learn freakin' French?! 

In the meantime, the only working lawyer on Lost gives Benry a file saying that Hugo has been exonerated of all possible charges (and can therefore join the merry band of returnies to the island).  Oh yea, and Benry is behind the whole DNA test thing with Aaron.  Just to mess with Khate's head.  Heh!  Why do Benry's confessions come off more creepy than his lies?  Next week, Sun opens up a box of candy, I mean whoopass on Benry.  Sounds like fun.  But, then he tells her he knows Jin is alive and can prove it.  Damn, word sure travels fast from the island of Losties.  Oh yea, but only if you're Benry.